The business of empathy...

Empathy~definition: The ability to understand another person’s circumstances, point of view, thoughts, and feelings.

Why it's important

There are good reasons to have empathy. Not just in doing business, but in all aspects of life. Sometimes it's hard to see things as others see them. I am still working on this at times. It's impossible to fully understand the extent of what someone else is going through, because there are so many things we keep hidden. We have gotten really good at hiding our feelings and bad experiences, and presenting only what we want people to see.

That's why it's so important to be compassionate if another person actually does open up to you, and tell you something. In my job, I have heard so many heartbreaking stories of every day people. Things I'm pretty sure they didn't share with too many others. But they chose to share with me because they trusted me. That's huge. For someone to trust you with a very personal piece of information, and something that has hurt them very deeply. It means they are thinking of you as a friend.

It also means it's time to take off the business hat, and just be a human talking to another human. I've been told not to touch people, that it's not a necessary part of the job. That it's too personal. It could cause a lawsuit, etc. That's just not acceptable to me. If someone is hurting, my natural instinct is to care enough to try to comfort them. And the instinct to reach out to another person who is hurting should be rewarded, not criticized. We all need to be loved and cared about. And there are times when you need to throw out that stupid rule book, and just be a person caring about another person.

How it fits into the business world

There are times when we are expected to meet our numbers. To push and push until we're exhausted. I have to meet quota every day. It can be very taxing if you don't take things one day at a time. Overwhelming, in fact. That's why I've learned to sometimes take things hour by hour. Sales is definitely challenging work, and not for people who are easily disturbed. You have to have nerves of steel, and an even tougher will. It is always in the back of our minds. Which sometimes makes you feel like you're rushing to beat the clock. Don't make the mistake of rushing to take care of your customers, though.

I know it can be difficult. I've gone through all of it, and for a long time. But I've learned that if I just slow down and listen, I find out everything I need to know to help the person in front of me. I think you probably realize I'm not the average salesperson. I know about business, and I have a lot of other skills. All of these things are things I've taught myself. Forced myself to learn. And one of the main things I also learned very early on was that, if you don't have the ability to relate to others, you aren't going to make it very far in life. 

Empathy is vital in every aspect of our lives, from our marriages to our relationships with our colleagues. Our relationships with our clients require empathy, and painstaking attention to detail if we want them to last. Listening to the customer, and understanding what they really need. It takes caring and empathy. Sometimes they could talk to you about something having nothing to do with business. Sometimes, they might even cry about something they are going through. It happens. They could tell you some things that shock you or break your heart. The best thing to do in that situation is just to listen. To let them get out what they need to say. To show them that you care about them. At that point, you don't need to be thinking about business, just the business of being empathetic.

The new business acumen

There's only so much you can learn from a book. They're just words on paper. The author may have translated an experience, or something they wanted you to feel. But it's up to the you, the reader, to interpret the deeper meaning of what was intended. 

Business in a book is different than business in the real world. Two totally different experiences. Business in theory is completely different than dealing with actual human beings in real life. And in real time. Real politics. Actually getting your hands dirty, doing the work is different than reading or fantasizing about what it could be like. It's going to break your heart. But it's also going to make you better at understanding just what that person standing in front of you is going through. Because you've been there.

Same thing with our feelings as human beings. We feel very passionately. It is part of being human. We have such deep feelings, and we keep a lot of them hidden. A lot of us are going through some terrible things. Things we can't even talk about. But we're going through them. Every day. We hurt deeply. Not just us, but the whole of humanity feels the same things we as individuals are feeling right this very second. 

Humans are sensitive creatures, who are fine tuned to feel. We are deeply affected by the feelings and actions of others. We are biologically made to feel the feelings of others. It is in our DNA. And we can't help but incorporate that into everything we do. When we do business with another person, we want to know that they understand what we need. At least on some level. That they can relate to us. That they feel what we feel. That they are human, too. We can't do business with people who are closed off, who give one word answers. Who don't have to ability to look us in the eye and smile. It makes us doubt if they can be trusted. And we need to trust those we do business with. Those we choose to invite into our lives. Those who invite us into theirs.

Thanks for stopping by...CC

Why we love to...

Goals in blogging

What are they? Objectives in blogging...they ARE important, you know. I knew when I started this blog that I wanted to help salespeople to sell better. I wanted to help them to grow, and to be proud to be in sales. To look at it as a legit profession, and to own it. That was objective number one.

I also wanted to see if I could expand on what I already knew. And if you do any blogging for an extended period of time, you always expand on what you know. You have to, because each blog post requires you to do your own extended research. Blogging is a great way to learn while you are also teaching others about subjects they are interested in.

To continue, you have to like writing. It's as simple as that. If you hate writing, blogging is not for you. You won't continue to write if you have a distaste for it. But for some people, writing is like breathing. They can't go a day without writing something creative. And blogging is perfect for people who love to create.


There are other ones, too

Other reasons why people write. One of them being a desire to start a business, to market their business, and to make money. They blog to get writing assignments that can earn them extra income. Some bloggers write to proliferate their web presence, and to grow their customer base. They want to add to their current clientele.

Some people build a business on the internet, but most have other irons in the fire. And their internet marketing, or their blogging, is used to enhance their other business ventures. Still, others blog simply for enjoyment. For the sharing aspect, and for being able to give back to their community.

For whatever reason you choose to blog, I hope you decide to take it up. And if you're already blogging, please continue to keep that amazing content flowing. This is a free form of art that needs to be kept alive and thriving. I would love to see blogging grow even more, because I've discovered so many great people through blogging. Another great aspect of blogging is the communities you build with others who share the same love for this art form. Let's keep it alive.


Thanks for stopping by...CC

The boomerang effect...

Mastering the throw

If you throw a boomerang correctly, it is designed to turn back in your direction, landing right where you initially threw it. Hmmm. If you throw it correctly, and if you stay standing in the same spot. If you throw at approximately a 45 degree angle, instead of throwing it too far up in the air, and crashing it to the ground, breaking your beloved boomerang into bits. If you don't hold your hands awkwardly when it returns back to you, so as not to injure you fingers. A delicate process indeed. These guys make it look too easy. Same thing as when you see an expert seller at work.


Case in point

I have seen this happen so many times in my job. Personally, I am not one of those pushy salespeople who tries to pester people into buying from me. I don't have to. I just offer them something I know they're not going to find if they go around the corner into another department. Me. My help. My sincerity. I make them remember the way I spoke to them. I'm not going to give away my dialogue, but it always works. And even if they walk away, they come back to me.


If they like you...

They'll come back. The question is...did you make yourself likable to them? Did you offer them something they couldn't find anywhere else? Did you make them feel comfortable, and customize your conversation to their specific needs?


Differentiate

Listen to them. This is one way to set yourself apart. If they tell you something, and you remember it. And then incorporate it into a statement meant to assess what they are really looking for. What they need that maybe they didn't even know they really needed. Something that may even be a better fit than what they had initially chosen. If you remember their name without them having to repeat it, that is huge. Most people are terrible with names, and calling a person by name at least a couple times during that initial meeting will really make them appreciate you.

Sometimes, a customer will need more time to think things over. They might not be sure about investing the money, or that your solution is best for their needs. They might need more time to check things out. But as long as you make them remember you, and you have a positive attitude, they will probably come back to you.


Patience and trust

That's what it takes. For you to believe in your customer. For you to believe they WILL do what they say. Not getting upset, and scowling, while muttering about how inconsiderate they are for not coming back. Wait a minute. They ARE coming back. You know that, right? Because you talked to them in a way they respected. That made them remember you. And even though they may try to meander through a maze of other salespeople, they will ultimately spin back around to the place where you are standing. Because you made them remember you. And they didn't get that from anyone else.


Thanks for stopping by...CC

The chopping block theory...

If you've ever had the "pleasure" of having to catch and slaughter your own food, you've probably noticed that animals do not like to be taken to slaughter. Understandably so. Who likes putting their neck on a chopping block, and letting someone chop off their head? A rather uncomfortable thought, but please don't leave just yet. There's a point to this...


We humans, being the highest level of primate, have also developed an aversion for putting ourselves in danger. We tend to avoid the possible embarrassment of having to take risks. We like to be safe and comfortable. We like structure, and to seem like we know everything. We don't like the discomfort of trying something new. The problem is, if we avoid discomfort, we stay the same.


There has to be a certain level of fear for us to be called "brave." How can you be called courageous if you don't have to face some kind of demon along the way? To stare yourself down, and make yourself do something you never thought you could do. That's courage. Part of that is putting yourself on the line, and taking responsibility. For whatever it is you put your signature on. Take responsibility. Sometimes, just starting something is a sign of a courageous spirit. Of leadership. Accountability.


You make yourself vulnerable to your critics. You also set yourself apart, and have to run ahead of the pack, where you could get picked off first. You are the biggest threat. You are also the biggest asset. And everyone can see it. It is who you are. Your neck is out in front, ahead of everyone else.


"Stick your neck out every once in a while. It may get chopped off, but that's not very likely. Chances are, you will reach the finish line first."


Thanks for stopping by...CC

The lack of amazing customer service...

My guest post for salescrunch.com

http://blog.salescrunch.com/the-lack-of-amazing-customer-service

~CC

B2C marketing and appointments...

Getting the first appointment

The first appointment is the most crucial. It's a compliment to you if your customer says yes to you scheduling an appointment with them. Think about it this way. If someone asked you to schedule an appointment with them so they could sell you some stuff, would you really want to schedule an "appointment" to do that? I know I sure wouldn't. So if that client says yes, they are really doing you a favor. Make sure you show your appreciation in every way you can.


The art of appointment making

Rule #1: Make sure it's a good appointment. Make sure you are prepared. Over deliver on expectations, because if it turns out to be a bad appointment, i.e., you wasted your client's time, they will never schedule another appointment with you again. They may not say that outright, but they don't need to. I am telling you for them. Great appointments get more referrals, and repeat business. But make sure they're great. With appointments, it's all or nothing. Either you make them amazing, or don't do them at all.


Remind them twice

If you have already talked to your client, and scheduled an appointment with them, you need to make sure to send them a reminder. People forget. They have a lot going on, so you need to send it to them in writing. An official reminder card with the date and time, along with a personalized note to let them know you're looking forward to seeing them. But that's not enough. You need to call to remind them again. That way they are held accountable for showing up, and you are accountable for keeping the appointment with them.



Fitting them into the mix

I've found that my busy schedule can only handle up to two high quality appointments a day. And I mean amazing customer service appointments. I don't want to give mediocre service, and I want to make sure I really pay attention to my guests. Two is the max with all the other stuff I am doing at the same time. If you're doing inside sales, you already have a lot going on.

Take time to think ahead about how busy you could possibly be, and realize that your appointment is expecting your undivided attention. I allow up to two hours for a service appointment. Some of them take even longer. One quality appointment is way better than three that were just okay. It's worth it, though, when you think ahead. If you have it planned out before that client even walks in, you've already set yourself up for a successful appointment. And remember, if that appointment is great, you're almost guaranteed more referrals...the main point of doing appointments in the first place.


Thanks for stopping by...CC

What's a resume?

Fast forward fifty years into the future, and this is what you might hear.


Blogging is the new resume

Sure, resumes are important. They're lists of our professional accomplishments and education. They're important. But are they good indicators of whether a potential employee will fit into your company's culture and values? Or if they are mentally stable? Sorry, no. But if you happen to read the blog of a potential employee, you can uncover so much about the person and their mentality. About their work ethic, and sense of responsibility. About how they get along with others. How they drive themselves. You get a look into their personality. Their likes and dislikes. Sometimes we will reveal so much more about ourselves in our writing. You really get to know the person's mind.


And that's what matters

Yes, we have to have the right skills. If we've accomplished great things, that's a big indicator of possible success in the future. If we happen to continue having the discipline we had before. We need to have a certain level of education and expertise. All of these things are important. But what's even more important is what you'll find at the very core of who a person is. Their courage. Their thought process. Their determination to succeed. And if they're honest about who they are in their writing, you'll find everything you need to know.


Thanks for stopping by...CC

There's always a reason...

Not to try.



"My resume is not good enough."


"I am not educated enough."


"I don't have enough experience."


"My (insert whatever lame excuse I can come up with here), is not enough."


"If I take online classes, there's no learning in that."


"If I go for what I want, I could get badly disappointed, even devastated."


"If  I get up and speak in front of people, they could see that I'm nervous."


I'm going to let you in on a little secret. They admire you for trying.


And when you constantly make excuses for not trying, essentially, what you're saying is, "I am not enough." You couldn't be more wrong. You have everything you need to handle whatever comes your way, otherwise it wouldn't be happening to you.


Thanks for stopping by...CC

My 10 best...

Posts, that is

Recently, my blog's been getting a lot more exposure, for which I am truly grateful. It means a lot to me that I've reached my targeted audience. That more people know who I am, are reading my posts, and showing their support.

There was a time, though, when no one knew who I was, and I started this free blog, expecting no one to read it. I just worked on it out of love for what I do, and hoped it would reach someone who could appreciate it. I put up my best work during that time when I was anonymous. Posts I'm most proud of to this day.

Every time I write a new one, it goes up in the ranks, and my best posts are becoming more and more hidden in the archives. I don't want them to become buried by new posts that aren't nearly as good. So I put together my own personal top 10 list. This is how I personally feel about my own work. Readers have ranked them, now I'm going to rank them myself. Enjoy!

 1) Client relationships are like...
 2) There is no magic formula
 3) Marginalized
 4) The not so dreaded CRM
 5) Easing the pain: CRM epic part 2
 6) Funnel Vision
 7) The key to unlocking your client's heart
 8) The purpose of blogging
 9)  Being your own leader
10) Customer service "wow" factor


Thanks for all the support from my new colleagues, who are just now getting to know me. And a special thanks to those who befriended me before anyone knew who I was. I will never forget everything you did to help me.~Cara

The one thing that's missing...

Sincerity: definition~The quality or condition of being sincere; genuineness, honesty, and freedom from duplicity.

I don't know what's been happening to me lately, but I think my b.s. meter has been on high alert. I just have no tolerance for it. It's just one of those things you can sense, without anyone telling you. They don't have to say they're phonies, you can just see it. And I HATE that! I am not usually an open-hearted person, but I think people can tell I'm genuine. I think they can tell I care about them. And I can't stand when someone pretends to care, but they really don't. Why bother? Everyone can see you're a fake when your sales pitch is so rehearsed that you don't even make room for actual conversation. When you have a plastered on smile, you don't think anyone notices? They do.

I am not trying to be difficult here, no way. Some of this might even be directed at myself. I am one of my worst critics, and I can be merciless toward myself. So please don't think I'm just calling anyone out without being able to see my own flaws. They are blaring for the world to see, trust me. But I'm okay with that. Flaws can actually make a person more likable. I have so much more respect for someone who has to courage to be human, and to see themselves as they are. Not to sugar coat things. To be genuine and vulnerable. To me, that takes the most courage. To be someone who people can approach, to really let them know you, knowing you could get just as easily hurt as you are praised. That's the only way I know how to be.

Okay, I'll get off my soap box now. It's just that I've realized something lately. I've noticed a difference in my own results, after making a few changes. I decided I'm not going to be so obsessive about numbers being met, and that I'm going to measure my success by how many clients I make happy today. That's all. And I've figured out how I'll do it. By treating them like friends and family. By trying to see things as they would, and by making it a point to care. Not that I haven't already been doing that. I have. But the results will show with the amount of care that I give them. They will automatically want to buy more. So I don't need to worry about it. No amount of education or experience can teach you how to have empathy, and to be real. That has to come from the heart of you.


Thanks for stopping by...CC

Of course we know each other. We run in the same circle...

So many times, I've been asked if I know someone. "Do you know so and so? He's in sales, too!" Okay, no, I haven't met that guy. Or gal. "Oh, but I thought you all knew each other." Well, that got me thinking. I realized that we all sort of do know each other. Salespeople, that is...

Maybe we have a certain look that helps us identify each other. For instance, I went to our biggest competitor to compare how our store stacked up against theirs. To see if my department, in particular, compared with theirs. Theirs didn't even come close to ours, but there was one thing that stood out. The level of customer service I was given by the girls that worked there. They were really nice to me, and it was like they recognized me from somewhere. One of the girls said, "Oh, you must be new. Where are they putting you?" She was nice and friendly, as were the other girls. This was at Macy's, by the way. And I said, "Oh, no. I'm just shopping." And I told them where I worked. But it was funny to see that they recognized me. They just knew.

If there's anyone who can understand what we do, it would be another one of us. That's just a given. If there's anyone who understands what makes me tick professionally, it would probably be another salesperson or manager. There may be other people in the world who get it. Partially. They may understand our motivation behind what we do, but it may not be their calling. They may understand business, but don't find it interesting. It's not their calling, so they don't really know us. They won't understand. When I talk to other sales and business people who truly love their jobs, I feel like we know each other. We get it. There's nothing we enjoy more than talking about metrics over coffees, analyzing where the numbers have jumped and fallen, and in coming up with strategies for future success. We find joy in discussing things like business acumen, sales processes, functions, features, and getting clients to feel that passion for what we're selling.

It's like being a tourist in a foreign country, and running into a person who speaks your native language. You just have to stand and talk to them, because you know they understand you. And that's why we need to stick together. Because we have the passion that those outside of the sales world don't have. We get it. And without saying a word, we feel a part of something. Like an extended family. And I know you get it. After all, we run in the same circle!



Thanks for stopping by...CC

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